Weight Neutral

November 3 2023

It happens to me too.

Coach BethAnti-diet, Body Neutrality, Body Respect, Health at Every Size, Mental Fitness, Perimenopause, Positive Intelligence, Women's Health Body Neutrality, Body Respect, Health at Every Size, Intuitive Eating, Mental Fitness, Positive Intelligence, Weight Neutral

As I wrote these words a few short weeks ago, I was preparing to be photographed for updated headshots.

A mess of feelings have come up over the last several weeks. Feelings of inadequacy, fear, need to control. My face, my body – it doesn’t look the same in the year 2023 as it did in the year 2018, the last time I had professional photographs.

5 years have come with a lot, and my body has lived it. A pandemic (aka anxiety, isolation, uncertainty), political strife, racial justice, physical injuries, family evolution – illnesses, growth and lots of change; MENOPAUSE (sorry, did I scream that?) I have said a few times over the past few years that it has felt as though my body has been revolting against me.

All of the same insecurities surface for me – even though professionally, I live in this world of body neutrality and intuitive eating. I literally coach other people on this very issue. I am not immune.

So how have I fought off those voices?

The Judge that says that I am not enough, the Controller that says that maybe I should just do a couple more spin classes this week, the Stickler who tells me that I need to be a perfect version of myself in this specific situation, the Victim who says that if all of these aforementioned “issues” wouldn’t have happened I would be in such a better place.

I practice every day, multiple times per day – catching those negative thoughts, intercepting them. I get out of my head and into my body. And then I choose differently. I choose empathy for myself and others. I choose to look at all of the gifts that I have been given through each of these changes. I CHOOSE to present the most authentic version of myself. No apologies, no shame, with pride and excitement for what I bring to the world.

This authentic version? She still colors her hair and wears makeup (most of the time). She also stays in her PJ’s till 5 some days and doesn’t worry about it. She has moved into a space that listens to and respects her “right now” body. She eats bagels and sandwiches and whatever else and moves in a way that feels best for her body. She bought new clothes that fit her “right now” body. She goes to therapy, does things that scare her every week, and connects with her family and friends. She is so much more than a body or a face. She is empowered to be a force – live life to the fullest and be THAT example.

February 24 2023

It’s Time to Flip the Script

Coach BethAnti-diet, Body Neutrality, Body Respect, Children's Health, Mental Health, Teen Health, Women's Health Anti-diet, Body Neutrality, Body Respect, Health at Every Size, Improved Health, Weight Neutral

It’s time to flip the script, friends. Negative self-talk, body shaming and food shaming is bad for you and everyone else around you.

Are you talkin’ to me?

This is a message to parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends and family. If you can’t do this work for yourself please consider doing it for someone else. There is likely a child, teen or another person in your life who is suffering from body shame right now. Consider your daily inner body and food critic. Now think about that same critic while using those same words towards your children and grandchildren, friends and colleagues. Ouch.

It is not enough for you to tell those around you one thing (love and respect your body) while you say and do the opposite with your own. They notice how you call yourself fat or ugly and then internalize that these two things are synonymous. They watch as you restrict food or shame yourself when you “overeat.” They pay attention when you obsess over every calorie consumed and every pound lost or gained.

In the last week alone I have had conversations with 5 separate people on 5 occasions – hearing about their children/teens suffering with body shame and disordered eating. It is devastating. The good news is that we have an opportunity to support and teach them in leading by example.

Where do we start?

It can feel really overwhelming. Where do you even begin? I’ve got a few recommendations. Before proceeding, I want you to promise yourself to practice curiosity and compassion (no judgment, shame or guilt)

Start with self awareness. Notice every single time that you are critical of your body or make comments (in your head or out loud) about your food choices. Then start to make a change for yourself. For every critical/negative thought or comment make three positive or respectful comments about your body and/or food choices.

Notice your relationship with food. Bring in your curious anthropologist to observe your behavior. Are you mindful when eating (for the most part)? Are you eating while doing 10 other things? Are you really enjoying your food? Are you trying to ignore the hunger cues and pushing through your busy work day in an effort to curb calories?

Notice with curiosity, not judgment. Real life example: Right before sitting down to write this I was literally sitting at my computer, searching for online files, doing a virtual chat with an online credit card assistant while listening with earbuds to a zoom webinar and eating kettle corn. DON’T JUDGE. There’s a lot for my anthropologist to make note of!

You’ve got this!

This is where we begin. We start small and we start with ourselves. Email me to tell me about what you’ve noticed this week. I want to hear about your wins and your challenges. Next week we’ll explore next steps that you can use. You have an opportunity to be the change for yourself and for others around you. I’m gonna help you get there!

XOXO,

Coach Beth

July 21 2022

Weight Neutral Healthcare

Coach BethAnti-diet, Body Neutrality, Body Respect, Health at Every Size, Weight Neutral Healthcare Body Respect, Health at Every Size, Healthcare, Improved Health, Weight Neutral

You have the right to healthcare without being shamed regardless of your body shape, size or weight.

Have you ever had the experience of going to your doctor with a health concern and then instead of addressing the health concern that you’re there to address, the health care professional confronts you about your weight? If this has happened to you, you are not alone. You may have believed that this was acceptable, that you were to blame, that you needed the prodding to lose weight. Wrongola. Not true. It’s what you have been led to believe via diet culture and the weight bias that is built into our health care. ASDAH (Association for Size Diversity and Health) explains this well, “health exists on a continuum that varies with time and circumstance for each individual. Health should be conceived as a resource or capacity available to all regardless of health condition or ability level, and not as an outcome or objective of living.” I invite you to read more about this on their website. https://asdah.org/health-at-every-size-haes-approach/ Additionally, if you’d like to learn more about weight neutral approach to various chronic diseases, check out these HAES Health Sheets https://haeshealthsheets.com/the-health-sheet-library/

How many of you have neglected going to the doctor because you didn’t want to be shamed about your weight? I’m sorry to say that I have heard this many times from my clients. It doesn’t have to be this way. You have the right to receive care wherever you are on the health continuum and regardless of your weight. You have the right to ask to not be weighed and to have health care goals that are not based around weight or weight loss. Take a look at these printable resources to take to your next appointment https://haeshealthsheets.com/resources/

Research supports health goals that are not weight based to improve your health. This can be things like improving sleep, spending time in nature, taking steps to decrease your stress. This type of care is based on the principle of Health at Every Size (or HAES) https://asdah.org/health-at-every-size-haes-approach/

To everyone out there who has lived this, I am so sorry that you’ve had to experience this. Your worth is not dependent on your weight. I will continue to advocate for you – to connect you with HAES aligned providers and to push back, educate and work to reform the healthcare system to a weight neutral system.

If you have questions or want to talk more about this, please reach out! Send me an email, contact me via my website. You are worth it. I am so grateful to have the opportunity to work with so many awesome clients. Hoping that this brings you support and/or something to think about in a way that might be new for you. Here are some additional resources:

Books:

‘Anti-Diet’ by Christy Harrison

‘The Obesity Paradox’ by Carl Lavie and Kristin Loberg

‘Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fatphobia’ by Sabrina Strings

‘Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight’ by Lindo Bacon

Podcasts:

The Eatfluencer Podcast

The Midlife Feast

What the Actual Fork

Food Psych

Maintenance Phase